Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
