Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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