So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
