Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
