So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
