How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
