i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
