Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize