My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
