They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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