I've blown a few things in my day
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
