Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Randomize
