I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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