It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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