The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
