Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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