It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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