dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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