do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
