I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
