It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
My ass is underappreciated
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
