question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
