You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
