im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
