I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
