operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
