we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
