in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize