i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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