How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
