i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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