IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I think i got beer on your cat.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
