Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
But theres a keg here and me gusta
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
