found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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