that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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