The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
