glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
