I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
