since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
