Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
