Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
