you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I want to fling myself into the sun
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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