its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
BRING THE BAGELS
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
