He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
