i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
