But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
