God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
