Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
