This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize