im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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