I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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