he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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