sarcasm needs its own font
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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