So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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