We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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