no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
