If that was your dad, he is hot
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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