If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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