So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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