i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
