I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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