So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
