Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
How's work?
Spinning.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
