I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
