brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
